Where Do I Smash The Wine Bottle?

How does one start a good first blog post? I mean, how do you write only a few first lines that just go "bam!" and your audience is hooked? Something controversial would probably do the trick. Sexcercise! Last night, while getting my rear back into shape in the gym, I had a good workout as well a semi-pornographic show to boot. Two newlyweds were way more interested in toning each other's bodies than their own.

Maybe something funny? Why did the scarecrow win the noble prize? Because he was outstanding in his field. That's my best joke, you won't get anything better than that I'm afraid. Perhaps something current? Open nominations for Hong Kong leader nominations have been ruled out by Chinese authorities. But honestly, I couldn't care less. I'm more interested in Chibatman. A caped crusader in Japan that drives around on his "Chibatpod" to make the people of Chiba happy. 

A brilliant Ephiny? Life's really short. And if I ever want to become a literary rock star I should probably start now, if not a couple of years sooner. How about another joke, I realized I still have one left in my bare arsenal: What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! 

The truth is, I have a lot to say to you, I just don't know how to start off. I guess I'll just have to rely on friends who like me to read this blog and maybe one day it will reach a stranger who will then also become a friend (who will hopefully also like me). 

Here's to you then, stranger, I hope you'll find my blog soon and you'll enjoy some of the ramblings that are on here. And to the few friends who read this blog, either out of love or pity...I'll just thank all three of you in person later.