Tulum. Not all it's cracked up to be.

I don't really remember how I heard of Tulum. I think I saw some Victoria's Secret photoshoot on Instagram and thought to myself "wow, that beach looks pretty...I wonder where that is". Thanks to Insta's shared location function, I heard of the small town, of Tulum.

The knowledge of this beach town stayed in the back of my mind for probably a few years, until I couldn't contain my desire for proper Mexican food anymore. Also wanting to celebrate my birthday somewhere warm again for the first time in 10 years, I was convinced that it was finally time to visit Mexico. As I mentioned in the previous post, it was a tight race between Cabo and Tulum. Cabo was closer, more popular and I had a bunch of recommendations from friends. Tulum, however, was the intriguing beach town on the other side of Mexico, much further away, smaller, therefore, less touristy and it had a large unknown factor that played into its mysterious charm. Naturally, we opted for Tulum. I mean, if you're going to a foreign country go for to the lesser-known tropical beach with warm ocean water and Mayan ruins, right?

This was my first mistake - assuming I knew what Tulum was about. It took me a total of 3 hours after I arrived to discover the town is actually seen as "the Ibiza of Central America", according to our landlord. And boy, did I experience that comment to its fullest potential in the days following, but I'm digressing...

Having no other knowledge about Tulum, like where it actually is in Mexico and how far I would have to travel from San Francisco, I made a very rushed and uninformed attempt at finding more information and accommodation. That was my second mistake.

I thought I'd just show up and take it one day at a time. But knowing where to stay in Tulum is vital. Most people don't know that the beach straddles a very busy and exclusive hotel strip. A room here can rack up between 400$ - 1000$ a night. No, thank you! The more affordable places (40$ - 90$ per night) are in the town, which is a good 15-minute drive and finding parking is either impossible or you'll be strong-armed into paying a small fortune to park your car by the side of the road. 

Staying in town and also on the beach strip are both loud options, because as it's now clear, Tulum is apparently party central on the Yucatán Peninsula. The only option left was an airy apartment in the jungle, which meant we had to drive 20 - 25 minutes before we could see water. And if downtown and the beach strip are vibrating with rave tunes throughout the night, the jungle is a hot mess of construction all hours of the day (and night). Oh, and a car is a must for staying in the jungle because public transport is severely lacking and there are snakes everywhere in the jungle. Yup, I just said the word that strikes fear deep into my soul: snakes. I hate them. Whenever I see one, I get so paranoid I start feeling something crawling on me in intervals and I constantly jerk my head around to make sure one isn't following me. Let me reiterate: I really hate snakes. They are a sure way for me not to enjoy a vacation. 

Fortunately, the gods were kind and I didn't see any snakes throughout my trip, but that's pretty much how far my luck ran. Tulum didn't turn out to be the secluded paradise I dreamt it to be. To be really honest, it didn't meet my expectations at all. It became very apparent that Tulum only has two faces: a poor developing town and a playground for the rich and famous. The difference is extreme. You're either neck-deep in boutique hotels, surrounded by drunk teenagers and 3-hour long techno songs or you're in a run-down town or desolate jungle. 

The unpopular opinion is that I wouldn't go back. It felt like a tourist trap. I either felt too mature and sober to be among the rowdy crowds near the beach or I felt like too much of a privileged tourist while in town. I was constantly being asked to fork money over for parking or entrance fees. We even had to pay a minimum service fee to enjoy calmer beaches closer to restaurants. And here's a fact not all people are aware of: Tulum is expensive. Like, exponentially expensive. Like, "what the hell is in that taco? Pure gold?" expensive. So, no, you won't get me close to Tulum again. I've not given up on Mexico though. The country is huge and there's so much to explore. I think that's why I wanted to go to Tulum in the first place, I was looking for someplace that was authentic and not castrated by tourism. Tulum really was like Ibiza. And if you know any of the other Balearic islands, you know you can do far better. 

Now, you're going to look at the photos and not believe my rant. Sure, the boutique hotels and restaurants are nice, because you get what you pay for. But I didn't fly 5 hours to sit in decorative restaurants. Yes, I took photos of them, because well...they're pretty and I didn't take photos of the ramshackle town, because they're not very photogenic, are they? So yes, the content and the photos are telling two very different stories. But I can also show you gorgeous photos of the leaning tower of Pisa or the walk of fame in LA. They look cool in photos, but they're nothing more than a small skew building drowning in tourists or dirty sidewalks crowded with weirdos in superhero costumes. 

All right, now that all of that is out of my system, I can focus on the positive. There are some things I did like about Tulum - believe it or not. Catch that in the next blog: 5 things I like about Tulum. P.S. I saved all the nice photos for that one.