Portugal in Parts: Wine, Holes, and Skulls

Wine

I'm going to come right out and say it. Porto: I'm not a fan. Unlike, basically everywhere in Portugal, Porto feels like just another European city. I was bored by the lack of originality that suffocated the city like a cheap cologne. I do understand that a lot of people love Porto, I can also understand their reasons for loving it. I'm simply stating, that I was underwhelmed by how well she fitted in with the rest of the cool European city crowd. I missed that charming spunk that all her neighbor cities and towns possess. That "I might not be the brightest star you've ever seen, but dang it I'm going to shine with all my might and that's beautiful enough" attitude that Portugal has and that I completely admire. 

This McDonald's voted "The World's Most Beautiful" is actually only from 1995.

Livrario Lello makes you feel like you've stepped into Hogwarts

I won't be all negative in this post, but some things just can't be sugarcoated. And one such an experience is, undoubtedly, my encounter with Porto's local delicacy: Francesinha. This saggy, heart attack-inducing monstrosity of a sandwich means “Little Frenchie. If my rather on point description doesn’t conjure adequate images in your head, imagine white bread concealed with wet-cured ham, smoke-cured pork sausage, fresh breakfast sausage, steak or roast meat and then covered with melted cheese, and smothered in a thick tomato and beer sauce. Do you see where I am going? It’s just too much. Too much meat, too much taste, too many calories, too much fat…just too much everything! This was by far the one experience I can say I wish I hadn’t tried at least once. It was one time too many. 

The one thing I did enjoy about Porto was lazing by the water while sipping on port – along with scores of other tourists, but it was still a fun experience, simply because the port is divine. This is something the locals know how to make properly. I'm not going to lie: strolling slightly tipsy by the water after a few port tastings is a marvelous way to spend the afternoon. 

The Duoro Valley

Outside Porto is Capela do Senhor da Pedra. A picturesque intersection of witchcraft and ancient Christianity.

Holes

Leaving Porto behind, we ventured inland toward Portugal's nature gem: Serra da Estrela. This beautiful national park's name translates to “Star Mountain Range” and it only peaks at 1,993 meters (6,539 ft), but delivers brilliants views. Right at the top is a dome of an old radar station and a lot of people gather here after sunset to bask in the glow of the gazillion stars that feel like they're just out of reach. 

This all sounds very fairytale-esque, however, the best part of the park is still to come. The reason we went to Serre da Estrela, other than hiking, was to satisfy our curiosity regarding the big hole that hid somewhere in the park. We love to witness the quirky characteristics of countries and cities and couldn't pass seeing this peculiarity. 

Tucked away in the area of Lagoa Comprida, “Long lake”, not many people know of this bizarre spot when visiting Serra da Estrela, I only happened to read about it by chance. After seeing only a snap of it, however, it was deadbolted into our itinerary. At first glance, this eerie hole looks like a portal to another dimension. Imagine the setting: we just arrived at the hole, basically stumbling across it, after a very long and exhausting hike. The sun is starting to set and we are at least 45 minutes out from the nearest signs of life. Very suddenly, we happen upon a fantastic lake with a dark hole perched at its far shore. It looks like a diabolical mouth swallowing the water with a feverish thirst. This otherworldly "mouth" is nothing more than Serra da Estrela’s hydroelectric system. The dark lake, on which this hole is perched like a parasite, is made of concrete and granite and is called Dam of Conchos. The water drains down the hole’s 1519m (4 983ft) throat and into Lagoa Comprida.

I don’t know whether I’m relieved or devastated that this creepy hole is just unattractive engineering instead of being a supernatural portal leading into the abyss. So far, Portugal has been very magical and this would have added nicely to her enchanting repertoire.

Monsanto: Portugal's Boulder City

Skulls

 Right in the heart of the lovely town of Évora lies something you would never have expected. Something so bizarre yet morbidly exciting, that you’d drive all the way to the city just to spend 20 minutes at this attraction. Capela dos Ossos, “Chapel of Bones” is a dark hole in the wall decorated in human skulls. It was built in the 16th century by a monk who wanted to inspire other monks to ponder and embody the message that life is merely temporary. At the entrance to the skull-bejeweled chapel heeds a warning: Nós ossos que aqui estamos pelos vossos esperamos, loosly translates into “We, the bones that are here await yours ") – very welcoming.  Approximately 5,000 bones are cemented into every inch of the chapel, placing you squarely in the middle to be observed by sunken eyes. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart.

Evora

Next up is the last part of my Portugal series. And where better to take you all than the seductive Algarve coast!